I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
