these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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