I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
only if we run a train.
done.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
