ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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