sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
