Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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