Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
