I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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