ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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