I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
one might say we're banned from that church
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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