you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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