It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
