Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
