I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
