how can u be prego again
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
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