But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
