Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
