She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
