I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
