im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
