would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
