We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
