u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the day after is always just damage control
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
