They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
