if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish you could order shots online.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize