1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
