I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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