This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
