I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
