I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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