We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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