She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
