I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
