She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
