I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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