So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
