dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
