I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
