why didn't you poke me back
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
