he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
