porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
