Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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