I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
