weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
