I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
