Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
