we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
