I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
