He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
