please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
