shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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