The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
