It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
