just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
