Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
