remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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