I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
