This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
