Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
