ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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