Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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