I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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