Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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